Episode One Million and Five: Walking With Dinosaurs

JEANETTE: I heard what that horrible so-called humourist said about you on the wireless.

JOHN: Really mother, you shouldn’t pay attention to him. It’s best to just ignore people like that, it only gives them a sense of satisfaction if you even appear to take notice of them. I’m not the slightest bit concerned about anything that comes out of his mouth. Er, just out of interest, what did he say?

JEANETTE: Something about you being ‘A grown up Radar O’Reilly with no redeeming moral characteristics, the sex appeal of a John Elliot’s armpit and a Messiah complex.’

JOHN: Well he’s got that quite wrong, hasn’t he?

JEANETTE: He certainly has. You’re not complex at all.

JOHN: I can’t wait to hear what he says about Mark Latham.

JEANETTE: Apparently he’s ‘the kind of person you find chewing on a raw liver ripped straight from the still-warm carcass of a sexually mutilated rodent.’

JOHN: Strange, he can be alarmingly accurate at times, can’t he?>

About the Play


At Home With the Howards is an intimate portrait of the private life behind the walls of the Australian prime minister's residence in Canberra known as The Lodge. Howard, who was prime minister of Australia from 1770 till about forever (or that's what it felt like) and his wife, Jeanette, had a whacky sense of humour and took an honest look at issues like immigration, the economy and what was left in the fridge by the previous residents, the Keatings.

Production History

At Home With the Howards may have been piloted, commissioned and produced by a major public-sector owned Australian broadcaster which then decided, for reasons of it's own, never to broadcast it. Michael McKenzie may or may not have had something to do with producing it.


All ten episodes are available on SoundCloud.