So, families... What's going on there? DENISE: I’m pregnant, you uncaring insensitive bastard. ANDREW: Well, er… surprise! DAVE: A baby? I thought you didn’t like children? DENISE: Why do people keep saying that? ANDREW: Well, your comments about Mork and Mindy are a bit of a giveaway. DENISE: It’s Markham and Malika as you well know. ANDREW: You do like them? DENISE: It’s just that they can be ungrateful, demanding, annoying, bludging users so much of the time. ANDREW: A mother’s love…

Don Wainwright is dying, and his family gather for his passing. But he lingers… and lingers… and lingers.

His family - his eldest daughter and two sons and their spouses, are not the closest, and the time in close proximity allows some of their worst characteristics to emerge.

Nought But The Leg is a black comedy which looks at family dynamics, Hollywood, Buddhism, stress and scones.



Characters

Denise: the eldest daughter, early 40s, a psychologist.
Dave: an entomologist, her husband.
Andrew: the middle sibling, a restaurant owner.
Hyun: a teacher, and Buddhist, Andrew’s wife.
Colin: the little brother, a writer.
Lysette: a Hollywood actress, Colin’s wife.



Production History

This is a my most recent script, so it is currently under submission.

Nought But The Leg had a reading by the Illawarra Performance Writers' Group on 23 April 2009.